Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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