Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
