cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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