Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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