I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I cockslap morals
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
