Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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