Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
