Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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