I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
