Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
