he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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