I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
