i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
bring money and cleavage
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
