I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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