The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
