she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
