How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
