I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
