Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
