I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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