and you said cock pushups were impossible
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My ass is underappreciated
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
