i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
