I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
