Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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