This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize