Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
