you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
