the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Enjoy the penises
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
