I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
