when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
