This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
