I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
