Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't deserve a penis
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
