Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
