i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im holly from the hills drunk
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
