I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just pee around me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
