No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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