She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
