I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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