Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So vagazzling was a success
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
