she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
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I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality