Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.