Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  needless to say I left

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  (203): I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard. (203): needless to say I left http://tfl.nu/ueme
  Replies (15) Good night (822) Bad night (3006)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

  (914): View more from New York

  so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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  (443): so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse (914): so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though http://tfl.nu/1ux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4344) Bad night (638)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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  (860): I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think. http://tfl.nu/zuxj
  Replies (8) Good night (3105) Bad night (814)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
  Replies (16) Good night (4897) Bad night (904)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea

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  (587): Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea http://tfl.nu/gdya
  Replies (5) Good night (2814) Bad night (1541)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for

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  (602): I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for http://tfl.nu/u905
  Replies (31) Good night (5267) Bad night (1118)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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  (417): Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"? http://tfl.nu/n06e
  Replies (16) Good night (6795) Bad night (1432)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.

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  (727): let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man. http://tfl.nu/iiq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1762) Bad night (645)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.

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  (845): Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me. http://tfl.nu/ykh5
  Replies (8) Good night (542) Bad night (1702)
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  (714): View more from California

  You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!

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  (714): You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue! http://tfl.nu/dw09
  Replies (5) Good night (1664) Bad night (720)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.

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  (248): We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management. http://tfl.nu/hzvj
  Replies (4) Good night (1346) Bad night (510)
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  (831): View more from California

  Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.

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  (831): Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really. http://tfl.nu/fn3m
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (321)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.

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  (919): As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage. http://tfl.nu/44x8
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (264)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...

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  (502): My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo... http://tfl.nu/eosy
  Replies (5) Good night (736) Bad night (318)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it

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  (724): Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it http://tfl.nu/jbin
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (300)

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