my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.