He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
