Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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