What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
