forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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