I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
