just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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