tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
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Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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