He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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