I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
