Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer

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(407): View more from Florida

I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

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(804): View more from Virginia

no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR

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(404): View more from Georgia

She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts

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(239): View more from Florida

I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real

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(251): View more from Alabama

why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?

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(319): View more from Iowa

Let's drink?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Why are male brains so small?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal

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