The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
