well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
