I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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