biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.