White coat. Heels.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize