I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
