Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
