uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
